Day 3

There is incredible beauty to be witnessed here. The type of beauty that suddenly makes you feel closer to knowing what "living" is supposed to be. This morning I hiked around the property and explored extensively. I found the path to a breathtaking waterfall buried in the valley. Then I circled back and discovered the path to the top of the waterfall.

(Top of the falls looking over the edge)

I've realized what an incredibly disconcerting event it is to suddenly recognize the vastness of your own ignorance. It's like looking in a mirror that suddenly shows you only your imperfections. I found myself at dinner the only woman among several men, all of whom are involved in some grand mission to save the world. All of whom are very well educated and passionate about their work. A minister from South Africa with a church of 3000. A former minister who manages a trust fund that supports ministries in countries around the world. An Italian life coach that is famous for his training of leaders and personnel. Never have I experienced a feeling of being so alone and out of my element. I felt like an uneducated child, without even a firm plan for the future. When asked what I do I produced vague answers such as "I'd like to be a writer," or "I've studied energy medicine and kinesiology." And then I prayed no one would ask me further questions and would just allow me to listen to the conversation and ask questions of my own.

Perhaps that is part of the challenge of a major transition, acknowledging ignorance and allowing oneself to be without a particular identity as defined by social standards. By learning to have grace for yourself in that situation, you can persist in discovering what type of identity you would like to create for yourself.